That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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