We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
