oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
