I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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