How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
