Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize