Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
