The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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