Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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