he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you will always have a special place in my vag
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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