What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
