I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
