Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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