New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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