Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
