We won't sleep together?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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