I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
