We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
