you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
