If i come over, it means nothing
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
