Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
