i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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