Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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