I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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