I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
