I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Randomize
