It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize