I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
