He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
