hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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