I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
