I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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