The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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