i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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