i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
