I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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