I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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