Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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