Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
