You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
