And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
