Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We left an ass print on the piano.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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