Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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