All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize