I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Randomize
