when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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