is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
