omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
