The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
ttyl tear gas
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
