you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
