im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
