I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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