He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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