Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
