i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
