Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
