i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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