Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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