he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
