I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
