I wanna passion pit in your ass
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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