we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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